What is Abuse?
Abuse is a pattern of behaviours used by one person to control another in a relationship. It can be emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, financial, or even spiritual. Abuse affects people of all ages, backgrounds, and situations.
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Recognizing the Signs of Abuse
Abuse can be hard to recognize, especially for those close to the individual involved. These common warning signs may help you identify abusive behaviours in a relationship, whether for yourself or someone you care about. Support is available if you see any of these behaviours.
Detailed Warning Signs:
Emotional Manipulation
Frequently criticizes, humiliates, or belittles you, making you feel guilty or ashamed for expressing your needs.
Controlling Behavior
Limits access to money, transportation, or resources, and makes all decisions without your input.
Isolation from Support Systems
Discourages contact with friends, family, or support networks and tries to make you feel guilty for time away from them.
Intimidation and Threats
Uses tactics like shouting, breaking objects, or threats of harm to control your actions or decisions.
Physical Aggression
Any form of physical force during arguments, including pushing, hitting, or restraining.
Quick Involvement and Intensity
If their partner tries to move too fast, showing excessive attachment early on, or pressures them into commitment quickly.
Intense Jealousy or Possessiveness
Shows unwarranted jealousy or possessiveness, questioning the individual’s actions and whereabouts constantly.
Pressure for Intimacy or Personal Information
The partner pressures them for intimacy or shares personal information too soon.
Isolation Tactics
Attempts to isolate the individual from their friends, family, or outside activities, often making disparaging remarks about their loved ones.
Frequent Check-Ins or Interrogation
Consistently checks up on their whereabouts or interrogates them about every aspect of their day.
History of Abuse or Mistreatment
The partner may have a history of abusive behaviours toward past partners, children, or pets, or even current mistreatment.
Changes in Personality and Self-Esteem
You notice sudden shifts in your loved one’s self-esteem, social confidence, or personality when around their partner.
Physical Signs of Abuse
The individual may frequently cover up bruises or injuries with non-seasonal clothing, making excuses about being clumsy or having accidents.
Undue Anxiety or Fearfulness
Displays undue anxiety to please their partner or avoid conflict, often seeming fearful or overly anxious in their presence.
How to Get Help
Abuse can be hard to recognize, especially for those close to the individual involved. These common warning signs may help you identify abusive behaviours in a relationship, whether for yourself or someone you care about. Support is available if you see any of these behaviours.
Helping Yourself
If you're experiencing abuse, know that you’re not alone, and help is available. Taking the first step can be challenging, but recognizing that you deserve respect and safety is a powerful start. Here are some ways to support yourself:
Acknowledge Your Worth
Abuse is never your fault. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. You have the right to feel safe and supported.
Reach Out to Trusted People
If you feel comfortable, confide in a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor. Sharing your experience can provide relief and allow others to support you in practical ways.
Understand Your Options
Familiarize yourself with the resources available to you. This can include emergency shelters, legal assistance, counselling, and crisis hotlines. Having knowledge about your options empowers you to make informed choices.
Develop a Safety Plan
Safety planning can be a vital step in protecting yourself if you decide to leave an unsafe situation. Consider gathering essential documents, keeping emergency cash in a secure place, and identifying people who can support you if you need to leave quickly. Stepping Stones Crisis Society is here to help—anyone can call our helpline for support in creating a personalized safety plan. Our outreach services are dedicated to guiding you every step of the way.
Stay Connected to Support
Don’t hesitate to reach out for ongoing support. Speaking with a counsellor or joining a support group can help you navigate your emotions, find empowerment, and begin the healing process.
Helping Someone Else
If you know someone who may be experiencing abuse, your support can make a meaningful difference. Here are some ways you can offer help while ensuring both their safety and your own.
Recognize the Warning Signs
Abuse can sometimes be subtle. Pay attention to changes in behaviour, signs of isolation, controlling behaviours from a partner, or any physical injuries with vague explanations. Be a compassionate observer, not a detective—trust and safety are your priorities.
Listen and Believe
When a loved one opens up, listen without judgment. Avoid blaming or pressuring them to act. Instead, affirm their feelings and make sure they know you believe them. Let them share at their own pace.
Offer a Safe Space
Make it known that you’re there to help in any way they feel comfortable. Offer a safe place for them to stay if they feel unsafe, but respect their choices if they’re not ready to leave the relationship.
Empower Them with Options
Gently share information about support resources, such as shelters, legal advice, and counselling services. Let them decide when and how to use this information, while reminding them that help is always available.
Avoid Confronting the Abuser Directly
As much as you may want to intervene, confronting the abuser can escalate the situation. Instead, focus on supporting your loved one and helping them build the confidence and resources they need.
Resources for Understanding and Breaking the Cycle
Browse our latest articles for deeper insights into abuse and recovery. Knowledge can be a powerful tool for healing and prevention.
Cultural Barriers for Domestic Violence Survivors
Navigating Family Court as a Domestic Violence Survivor
The Effect of Domestic Violence on Teenagers
Need Someone to Talk To?
If you need support or want more information, reach out. Stepping Stones is here to listen and provide guidance every step of the way.
For immediate assistance, please call our 24/7 confidential helpline at:
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